YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Top 3 lead singers who like fighting people

I'm aware that there are more singers out there who like beating on their fans. I just can't be fucked.


#3
Jay Reatard (Teehee)

This man has a cult following amongst his fans with his punk/garage rock music. I'd also like to say what you're all thinking - that he has a hilariously pun-errific name. He is known for beating on his fans who jump on stage. Rightfully so, he can't rock out if there's some drunk jumping around next to you!

Jay Reatard punching kid at the Silver Dollar

Unfortunately in this video you can't see the kids 'I can't believe I'm standing beside my hero' grinning face before impact.





#2

Brian Jonestown Massacre

I like this band, they've written some fine tunes. I'd also like to add that I think their band name is incredibly clever. However the lead singer Anton Newcombe is a complete wreck. Not only he taunts and patronises his audience, but he beats them up too.

Anton telling his guitarist to shut up



Anton kicking man in face (from the fantastic documentary DiG)

He has also announced Australian dates!

27th in Brisbane @ The Arena
29th in Sydney @ The Metro
30th in Melbourne @ The Hi-Fi Bar

I'm there!


#1

GG ALLIN

This man takes the cake!
Not only his music sucks, but he punishes his fans because of it. A normal gig would involve Allin defecating on stage, rolling in feces, eating it, throwing it at the audience, cutting himself up, taunting people from the audience to perform fellatio on him, beating up his audience, sometimes at the same time.



This man is so insane that his funeral itself was a wild party. Friends would pose with the corpse as well as place drugs and whiskey into his mouth. His antics will always be remembered, but not his music.


GG Allin fighting people, eating and smearing his own feces on himself while singing his fan favourite 'Bite it You Scum'

What's for dinner?

Why I like Nicolas Cage

This man is a genius full stop. Why you ask? Because he's badass and he knows it.
Take the last 6 movies he's made, that's right 6! A normal actor may have 1 or 2 bad movies in their catalogue but 6 consecutive bad movies? That's a skill!

You've got National Treasure 2, Next, Ghost Rider, Wickerman, World trade Centre
and the ant bully. Why would any actor pick these movies? Money? Desperation?
Yes, possibly but the way I see it, Nicolas Cage does it because he is The Cage!
He does whatever the fuck he wants because he doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Here are some of the countless reasons why Nicolas Cage is awesome:

Exhibit A:

He was born Nicolas Kim Coppola where he changed his last name to Cage inspired by the Marvel Comics character Luke Cage, a streetwise superhero.



He made the right choice. It is pretty badass


Exhibit B:

The Wickerman

Why would anyone want to do a film like this, considering the script was horrendous to begin with?
Anyone who actually sat through it can all agree that he turned this movie into something quite special. It's in the Batman and Robin level of unintentional brilliance.
Dialogue ranging from 'No not the bees, Arghh my eyes argh my eyes!" and "No not my legs! Argh my legs!" is undeniably genius. Plus he wails on not 1, not 2 but 3 women! He makes a fantastic bad movie! He knows it!




Take this video as an example:

Top 10 moments

It is also evident that the man clearly cannot run. That's badass.


Exhibit C:

Ghost Rider

If I was offered to be Ghost Rider in a movie I'd jump right on it, and I'm sure most of you out there would too. But you know a movie is going to be bad if it is going to be directed by the man who made Daredevil. However The Cage is not bothered by this, he purposely hams up the performance with cheesy lines and acting.



If you think I'm basing this all on assumptions, why would anyone act like this and think it's good?

Ghost Rider Transformation


He knows he's in a bad movie and he makes it enjoyable for the rest of us.


Exhibit D:

Why does everyone love Samuel L Jackson?
Is it because he's black?
Or is it because he eats up every scene he's in no matter how bad or good the movie is. The correct answer is all of the above.



I'm going to put this one out there and say that I think Nicolas Cage is the white Samuel L Jackson. Both actors have both fantastic and shockingly bad movies. Come to think of it apart from Pulp Fiction and Die hard 3, I personally believe that Nicolas Cage has starred in better films overall than Samuel L Jackson. I find Nicolas Cages brilliance much more subtle. An example of this is Samuel L Jackson yells in pretty much every movie while Nicolas Cage has little subtle moments as presented in the top 10 moments of Wickerman. Now I'm not saying I like The Cage more than Samuel. I believe that Nicolas has a place in the so bad it's good level of actors. I believe that both have completely different strengths in engaging their fans.



Lets look at a quick, vague rundown at their filmography:


Samuel L Jackson:

Good - Pulp Fiction, Unbreakable, Die Hard 3, Black Snake Moan

Bad - The Man, xXx 1 and 2, S.W.A.T, Basic, Farce of the Penguins, Deep Blue Sea


Nicolas Cage:

Good - Adaptation, Bringing out the dead, Lord of War, The Weatherman, Leaving Las Vegas (most of his earlier films)...

Bad - Most of his later ones

Both have great and terrible films, while Pulp Fiction is the best film out of all the movies listed. It should be noted that Nicolas Cage has the fantastically well written and acted Adaptation and Bringing out the dead.

Exhibit E:

Clearly the man is taking the piss. There is no other reason why they chose him to do this. It's because the man does not take himself seriously. He is damn brilliant!

Werewolf Women of the SS


I'm not forcing anyone to like him, if you hate him, you hate him. I still stand by that The Cage has subtle brilliance presented in both great and terrible films.

And if you're not convinced yet

His next film:



Nuff said.

High Jinks at QUT

I had a very strange day at Uni a couple of weeks back. The events of the day were covered in a milky haze as the affects of the previous night’s rip-roaring drunken stupor slowly dissipated. Much to my surprise, however, I didn’t wake up with a hangover in the morning. Instead, some of my cognitive faculties were not quite functioning at full capacity. This would have been fine had I stayed home for the day, but I didn’t. The first interesting encounter happened in my very first lecture. I was sitting there, listening to the lecturer as he crapped on about his meandering experiences in a quiet, monosyllabic tone. At this point, the stooge sitting next to me whose name I did not catch, and who I have no desire to ever meet again, whispered a joke in my direction. It was a particularly poor joke, but rather than simply telling him “mate that wasn’t funny” I felt I had to appease him with a subtle fake laugh. I’m normally very good at this, but because my mind was a little hazy I misjudged how loud I was and blurted a very loud, rather boisterous “ha-HA!!” at him.

The lecturer paused.

I heard girls at the back of the room giggling about the ‘retard who can’t keep quiet’.

The stooge didn’t talk to me again….so, mission accomplished.

The second interesting encounter was in the library directly after this lecture. I was checking my emails (I had none) and checking to see if I had any new MySpace comments (I didn’t), when a friend of a friend snuck up behind me and scared nine shades of shit out of me. He was meant to attend the abovementioned night of drinking but couldn’t make it because he had to work. He wanted me to tell him who was there, and I happily obliged.

“Adam, Jacinta, Lee…” I said, “…oh and Lucy. She’s got big tits.”

Perhaps I should explain. I had intended to say the last part in a facetious way. Though it is true, and Lucy does have big tits, I said it for a laugh. Did I say it in a facetious way, I hear you ask? No. Rather I said it in the way a sexual predator would speak of his next victim. The trouble was that my mind was a little hazy and I didn’t say it with a smile or a giggle that would ordinarily signal that it was a joke. Instead, we stood in silence, looking at each other and hoping for someone else to fart loudly to divert our attention away from the present discomfort.

Later, while walking down a narrow walkway, I was reflecting on the ‘library ordeal’ when the third interesting encounter occurred. I thought the whole thing was kinda funny in hindsight and I was having a giggle to myself about it all. My eyes were fixed on the ground while I was walking along the walkway, so people wouldn’t think I was some kind of weirdo who was laughing for no foreseeable reason. I stave off many a queer look that way. I then felt that I should probably look where I was going so I didn’t end up ass over tit. I was still visibly and audibly tickled about something as my eyes met with those of the girl who was walking in the opposite direction. Imagine my discomfort when I discover that the girl has a gumby leg and is lumbering at me with the poise and grace of a smoko-lady who was chewing Minties with her arse. My heart sank, and evidently, hers did too. She gave me a look that asked “You’re laughing at a disabled person?” and then exclaimed “You monster!”

I didn’t try to explain myself for fear of blurting out something about big tits. I just kept walking.

Clearly, I have to drink more often.

The best games we'll never play. (Assuming we wanted to)

Right Here!

I didn't read all of them, but the ones I'd heard of I read about. Also, I agree that Duke Nukem Forever is now officially a joke. The should release what they have and change it so instead of war sounds, it's filled with sound effects from Looney Tunes cartoons. Gaming Gold!

OMG!

OMG guys! We're actually doing it! We're gonna concur the Internetz with our amazing blog posting skills. I now have even more reasons to stay away from human contact and put my assignments on hold.

Those of you reading... prepare yourself for elitism in its purist form (i.e. Sam) and reviews dripping with sarcasm and an "I'm cooler than you" attitude.

Oh, hello there....

Hello and welcome, gentle reader, to the internet sensation that is ‘Man Date’. It was created, or so the tale goes, when the Universe was in its infancy as a means of spreading knowledge and wisdom throughout the realms. Forbidden during the Dark Ages and driven into obscurity, it was resurrected when the Archangel, Gabriel, heralded its arrival into the modern era.

Today, ‘Man Date’ continues its vehement dedication to stimulate the minds and awaken the senses of those who read it. It is with great regret, however, that I inform you that the contributing authors are perhaps the most infantile group of people this side of the loony bin. It sickens me to think that in this modern day and age, people like us are permitted to spew forth their insidious dribble across the internet where it may corrupt and defile the most innocent and gifted of minds.

But we won’t let a silly thing like mass stupification stand in the way of our true nature and purpose.

Mario Kart wii

Sam:

So I'm a fairly big Mario Kart fan ever since I played it as a child on the snes. I remember playing with my brother, I'd always pick toad (I think he's badass, but apparentely fucking gay according to jeff). We'd have mountains of fun but it'd always end up in tears as one of us would pull the game controller cords out in frustration. Two nights ago I hired out Mario Kart on wii and experienced the same frustration, except no one pulled the cords out on me this time.

Everything is pretty much the same except it feels like Nintendo have invented new colours to fill up the screen, it's gay but it looks great. The new tracks are inventive with multiple routes except there is not enough to discover, most of them are a little obvious. One of the biggest problems with the game lies with the single player mode, it requires no skill at all. If you're having the best race of your life with no faults, you will probably come 2nd or even 8th due to a fucking blue shell striking you. There is no possible way to escape these weapons, it all comes down to luck rather than skill.

The biggest flaw however is Donkey Kong no longer sounds like Donkey Kong! He sounds like a mentally handicapped man with down syndrome and cerebral palsy with aids. It's an insult to the fans and an insult to me!

7/10


Phil:

It's fantastic to have a brand new Mario Kart game to play. I was a bit wary of the remake of tracks, but when I think back to it MK 64 only had 16 tracks all up. Wii has 32, 16 of which are new. There are new weapons like Bullet Bill, which does the driving for you, and also the Pow box which will annoy the shit of every other driver. The old weapons are exactly the same, which is great, because if there's one thing video game makers should know, it's not to mess with a good thing.

The new tracks fit in perfectly with the Mario Kart world, from bouncing mushrooms to water slides, every track has hidden traps and problems just to mess with your head. It took me a while to get used to the driving styles, especially with the Wii Wheel (the worst style imo), I find myself just settling for the wii-mote and nunchuk. The way they add insult to injury when you're first trying the game is to make the AI characters, worse than Peach on level 9 Smash Bros Melee (That whore). Every other kart is seriously trying to kill you no holds barred. So basically, don't play it while you're grumpy or tired unless you know you're gonna win just so you can smack the other players around. All in all a great addition to the franchise.

9/10

Andrew:

Ever since the dawn of time man has enjoyed two things more than any other. Holding a dinner plate between his hands and pretending he is a racecar driver and playing Mario Kart. The thrill of looking in the mirror and practicing your racecar driver face was priceless. The thrill of beating your friends at a video game about plumbers and apes named Donkey racing each other is unbeatable. So when these two things mix to give us Mario Kart wii you would believe it to be the best thing EVER… right?

Unfortunately not. The game is great fun for about half an hour. Then it gets a bit tedious. It’s still fun, just not amazing. Now granted I didn’t play it for long, but I can tell it’s a game I would get sick of very very quickly. I can’t really explain why though. I mean, it has more tracks and more weapons… You can choose between motorbikes, karts, buggies etc… but somehow it lost its charm.

I dunno… Maybe I’ve just grown up and wouldn’t really find the old Mario Kart games as fun anymore either. I’ll play it again one day and maybe it will grow on me more.

6/10

Jeff:

I’ll begin with the score I gave the game.

2/10

I will now elaborate.

Mario Kart has adorned the shelves of video game enthusiasts since its inception into the Nintendo line-up some 16 years ago. It has become a brand, an institution. And rightly so. Mario Kart was revolutionary when it was first unleashed on unsuspecting consumers. It has since, however, stagnated and become as tired and predictable as a David Letterman/Jay Leno hybrid, fuelled by an indomitable lust for profits and the desire to rape our culture. Its premise is unevolved, its graphics have not improved and yet its fan base has not diminished. This strikes me as odd. For a game that shows a total lack of imagination and innovation, it still maintains its death grip on its initial clientele.

Very odd indeed.

I get the fascination with driving around in a heavily weaponised vehicle, blowing the crap out of the competition while hurtling towards the finish line. It’s brilliant. But where other games of a similar nature have updated and re-invented themselves, Mario Kart wii has not. I’m speaking about games such as Twisted Metal, Vigilante, Interstate ’76, etc. Though these games are old and relatively unknown these days, they all managed to develop new and better ways of delivering the thrill of vehicular combat to you.

I feel that I should mention that I respect the status and the unwavering devotion to Mario Kart shown by its fans, but for me, playing it was as painful as an ulcerated circumcision….not that I know what that feels like (says Jeff, applying ointment to his penis).