Bullet wounds? That can’t be good. And why do I have custard in my pockets? Never mind about that for the moment, just get to safety. Over there; that huge Japanese stadium. The penguins won’t be able to attack me there.
***
My dreams are fucking weird.
I think the problem is that I love mushrooms. A logical argument, you agree? Before you dial the number for the nuthouse to have me sectioned, I’ll inform you that mushrooms contain a toxin that causes you to have strange dreams.
Not so crazy now, am I. You can shove that derisory look up your fucking ass!
Ahem, my apologies. Anyway, I went to the local pub last night with a dear friend when we began talking about our dreams. She listed the events in her dream, to which I responded with a clinician’s ‘mmm hmm’. The truth is I was a little concerned, not for her but for myself. She thought that this was a weird dream. And for her, it may very well have been. Compared with my dreams, though, it was rather pedestrian, sane and lucid.
I started thinking about the dream I began describing above. I was in Japan for reasons that elude me, when I entered a stadium only to find a 100m long sea amoeba in the heart of the arena. The Emperor of Japan (I assume he was the Emperor, anyway) meandered out to the middle of a platform that was overlooking the arena and clapped his hands twice, at which point hundreds of trained penguins emerged from the dressing rooms and proceeded to collect eggs from the sea amoeba and put them into old jam jars.
I just re-read that paragraph. Holy snapping duckshit!
I think when I had that particular dream, it was after I had been watching some very abstract Terry Gilliam style movie, most likely ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’. Those of you who have seen this movie can probably relate to the pseudo-stoned feeling that it gives you. Especially towards the end where the Vegas trip turns into a huge clusterfuck, and Duke (Johnny Depp) hallucinates that Dr. Gonzo (Benicio del Toro) has grown hairy tits on his back.
“Beautiful fucking tits!”
Nota Bene: I was going to write a closing paragraph, but I think that quote sums everything up quite nicely.
3 comments:
I also find it funny when people tell you their 'crazy' dream when it's completely normal.
However I have to say I haven't had dreams as insane as yours lately. I say lay off the acid for a while.
Are you usually aware that you're dreaming? Do you have lucid dreams?
I actually find this type of stuff extremely interesting. I remember reading a scientific reason for the 'falling' feeling you often get in dreams. The body + mind is an amazing thing.
I'll get sleep paralysis from time to time. Completely aware that I'm dreaming but unable to move or scream or anything like that. It's not a pleasant feeling.
I told Sam a week or so back. But I had a weird dream where his mum didn't want me and him to be friends. I just found it peculiar as I've never actually seen his mum at all.
I know exactly what you mean Phil (I'm talking about the sleep paralysis, not the thing about Sam's mum....that's just fucking weird). I often get it in the middle of a lucid dream, just as some weird shit is about to go down or I'm about to kill someone. I don't know how violent your dreams are, but mine can get very rough. It's the worst feeling knowing that it's not real but not being able to wake up from it.
Post a Comment